Category Archives: Advice to new residents

019: House footprints — a good idea


I’ve been out looking at new houses lately and there’s one thing I’d like to say to house designers — please, please, give us free footprints.

For those who haven’t encountered this idea before, here’s how it works. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking on Marketplace or out and about in Second Life.  You see a house you like but you’re not sure if it will fit on your lot. And, of course, Second Life being what it is, if you buy a house and then discover it won’t fit on your lot, you won’t be getting a refund in a hurry. Why aren’t we sure if it will fit on the lot? Well, even though your “about land” tab will usually tell you how many square feet your land is (mine is 2048); not everyone has a square lot. Mine is long and thin, and one of the thin ends is on the waterline. A long thin house might or might not fit, and it might or might not be possible to have a specific face of the house on the waterline. Some house designers will give you a free “footprint” — just a large flat prim that’s the size and shape of a cross-section of the house. You rez the footprint and put it on the lot and you can easily see if the house fits the lot, and you can spin the footprint to see if you can arrange a specific face to have a specific view.

In the last couple of days, I’ve found a couple of houses that I liked the look of, but they’re far too expensive to buy just on the off chance that they’re going to fit my lot. And before you suggest I simply find a lot that fits, well, I like my neighbours and I like my neighbourhood and I like my landlords, and it would be difficult to change the shape of my lot because of houses and landscaping that are already in place. I change houses once or twice a year, and I don’t mind spending a few thousand lindens on the right house, but I’m not prepared to buy an expensive house that I can’t use.

Some houses will tell you what their “footprint” is — for instance, it will say “20 x 32” on the sales board. Designers, I know it’s hard to imagine since you work so closely with this stuff, but a few SL residents aren’t prepared to actually multiply those two numbers to get the square footage of the house, and one or two people I’ve spoken to didn’t realize that that’s what’s meant. It’s also common for a sales board to say that the house you’re looking at will fit, say, a 2048 lot. Well, yes, a square 2048 lot. If you have a long thin lot, it might or it might not, and you might also have to place the house on the lot so that the front entrance is right beside your neighbour’s bedroom window.

But if you have a footprint, all those issues are clear. The house either fits or it doesn’t and, if the designer has put together the footprint properly, you can tell where the entrance has to go, and what face of the lot the balcony will overhang, and things like that.

Yes, there are ways of telling whether your house is likely to fit. (There’s a helpful table and information here, among other useful contributions in the forums.) There’s a relationship between the size of your lot and the number of prims it allows that gives you a rough-and-ready idea; my 2048 lot should yield about 468 prims, so if you know you are allowed 468 prims, you can work backward. If the house is 800 prims, it’s too big, and if it’s 60 prims, it’s probably too small (which will leave you a lot of room for landscaping and decorating, but most of us like to have as much house space as we can.) Not everyone is mathematically oriented, though. Providing a free footprint in the same location as every house you’re trying to sell would short-circuit the whole “will it fit” quandary and leave no doubt in the prospective purchaser’s mind, and designers are likely to sell more houses.



018: Setting l’Uomo aside for a while

rusty new redhead _001

It’s been on my mind for a while, and now I’ve done it. I’ve taken my l’Uomo mesh body off and I’m going to have some fun in SL without it for a while. (And, as you may have noticed, I’ve gone back to being the redhead as which Rusty started life.)

How did this all come about? Well … kind of a long story. But it occurred to me that telling the story would be potentially useful for (a) other people trying to make a decision to go with any kind of mesh body or not, and (b) designers who are considering moving into the l’Uomo market. And that’s because this started for me with a long conversation with Lion Valentino.

Lion Valentino_001

Lion Valentino

Mr. Valentino is a long-time SL resident and proprietor of Jungle Wear, a line of clothing I’ve been wearing for years. His aesthetic is for men who want to look sexy without necessarily looking skanky (not that there’s anything wrong with skanky, mind you). A few years ago, he was the only designer I could find who was providing realistic body hair for a guy who wanted to look like he actually HAD body hair. And so I’ve been making the occasional trip to Jungle Wear over the years because Lion seems to provide clothes that I want to wear.

What brought me to his main store (seen behind him in the photograph; it’s a huge layout with many, many nooks and crannies) lately was an announcement in the l’Uomo group that Jungle Wear was opening up a section for the l’Uomo man. And when I popped in to see what was going on, Lion himself was there. And he told me that he’d decided to go with the new HUD system for applying l’Uomo clothes. Or, rather, you buy the HUD, the HUD contains the textures for the clothes, and you rez the layer and … well, it’s all quite complicated. There are many advantages to it, including that the clothes automatically update, and if you want to make your own clothing the pieces are now modifiable.

Now, Lion had kindly provided a helpful and friendly assistant, Gare Claven, to help customers through the process of how to actually put the clothes on. And so I had a conversation with Lion, and a conversation with Gare, and I saved all the conversations to a word processing file. I thought that what I would do is study the instructions off-line, then come in and do a blog post as a how-to for people who were having trouble adjusting to the new system — I learned that the inventor of l’Uomo, Miro Collas at Animations Rising, had made the same decision as Lion, to henceforth only sell clothes that had the applier.

So I bought a couple of excellent pieces of clothing, I saved the conversations offline, and I determined that I was going to knuckle down to my blog post. And I kept putting it off, and putting it off … “It’s going to take a while to learn this,” I thought, “and I don’t have enough time to devote to really grasp it today … maybe tomorrow.” And tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow never came, and the documents and pictures have been sitting on my desktop for two weeks staring at me.

I’ve learned over the years that when I can’t find the enthusiasm to do something like this, when I have a clear objective in mind and the tools I need on hand — it means something in my subconscious is blocking me. And when I finally admitted I had an issue, it was easy to figure out what it was. Essentially, I just didn’t want to move a step further into committing myself to l’Uomo. Even though I had been told that the new applier would fix the “holes in the shoulders” problem that’s been driving me crazy ever since I bought my l’Uomo mesh — it was a workaround step that I just couldn’t bring myself to take.

I found myself looking longingly at “ordinary” clothes. Clothes that you could just buy, in a shop or on Marketplace, and you put them on and they fit. I was reminded of the old days when I used to go shopping with friends and buy things and be able to wear them, without worrying about holes in the shoulders and being restricted to only a few shops out of all the thousands in SL. (I have to admit, my recollections were coloured with nostalgia … there are still problems with regular clothes. But I was in the middle of an emotional reaction and not a logical one.)

And all of a sudden last night, I just thought, “The hell with it.” And I signed into SL and went back to a stored non-l’Uomo shape from more than a year ago and thought, “Damn it, while I’m changing everything, I’m going back to being a redhead too.” With the results you see. I tinkered with the shape for a while, mostly to get the face a little bit more in line with what I’ve been telling residents about how to make your face distinctive and realistic. (Can you see where I gave people a facial feature to look at that was a bit skewed from perfection?)

rusty new redhead _002

I have to say that I’ve really, REALLY enjoyed my time wearing my l’Uomo mesh body. I am embarrassed to say that I have said on numerous occasions that I would never go back … I very much enjoy the sense of being 7’8″ and 280# of solid muscle, and it was good for my ego in that a lot of people were attracted to that body. But it was keeping me from enjoying Second Life in the way that almost everybody else does, for the reasons that I got into SL in the first place. I like getting dressed up, I like having fun with other people, I like creating looks and tinkering with clothes and shapes. Nothing was stopping me from exploring SL and having fun with other people, so the restrictions of l’Uomo didn’t chafe for a long while (it’s hard to be galled by the limitations of your shape when everyone around you is telling you how hot and sexy you look). If there’s anyone reading this who is considering getting a l’Uomo mesh body, I would even still recommend it. It’s a great experience.

And I have to say that Lion Valentino and Miro Collas are trying very hard to give SL something that the players need. Right now, I think that the l’Uomo mesh body is a kind of intermediate step to something that players in Second Life want to do, and they found a way to make it possible. What I think is that, eventually, every player will be able to set his/her body to a much, much wider range of sizes and shapes than is currently available, without the intermediate step of having to wear a body like a suit of ill-fitting clothes. And then everyone will be able to go into a store and buy a sweater and have it fit. It’s a little discouraging, but I think that Linden Labs will eventually devote the resources to make it possible, in order to keep moulding Second Life into an experience that people will continue to want to have.

Even though I’m sad to be setting aside my l’Uomo body, today I’m feeling very good about going back to my “regular” shape. And I think it was the right thing to do because, immediately I made the decision last night, I wanted to get started on a blog post. So, folks, bear with me while I make the adjustment. I’m feeling like it’s a time to make changes in how I do things in Second Life, so I’ll also probably be re-working my house and furniture completely in the next little while. Because I no longer have to contribute to the fiction that I work out about three hours a day.

And I still have my l’Uomo body on file and it’s easy to take it out to play if I want to!

Your comments are welcome; I’d especially like to hear from anyone who’s made a decision like this.



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015: Notes on shape (Part 2: face and head)

This is the second post in a series. The first, dealing with affecting the shape of your SL avatar, is found here. But the face is the mirror of the soul, and it’s where you should put the most work in; if you think of your own experience, when you zoom in on someone’s av, what you usually look at is the face, isn’t it? The face is the area where people focus their attention, and it pays off if you focus your attention at learning how to master the sliders. The most realistic avatars are the ones that get the most attention, in SL, and I have a few areas that I’ve learned over the years that people will benefit from looking at.


First, though, I want to share a tip that will possibly be of interest to all of you in this context, and I’ll share how I learned it. Years ago, I read an anecdote in something like TV Guide about how Vanna White got her job. (The perennially lovely Ms. White is shown above.) Apparently Merv Griffin was re-casting Wheel of Fortune after a couple of less-than-perfect experiences, and was offered a series of women from whom to select for the job of evening-gown-clad letter-turner. Merv’s finger stabbed down on Vanna’s picture.  “Her.” Why? someone asked? “Because her head is too big for her body, and that makes people look at her on television.” Look at the picture carefully; you may agree.

Personally, I think that a large percentage of the avs I see in Second Life have heads that are too small — and especially too small for the bodies they’ve selected. In part 1 of this essay, I suggested that  if you were going to have, say, an ectomorphic body, you should have the matching head shape (see that part for more details). So if you’re designing a long slender body, have a long head. If you’re designing an average body, have a round or triangular head. And if you’re designing a muscular body, have a square head. Now, I venture to say that gay men who are designing avs in Second Life have one of two things in mind — they either want to be an ectomorph, for which read slender twink, or an endomorph, for which read Tom of Finland drawing. Those are polar opposites, to be sure, but they share one characteristic; they are extreme. And if you’re doing an extreme body, you need to have an extreme head to go with it. Whatever shape that head happens to need to be, whether long, round, or square, is just fine. What it should also be, though, is with “Head Size” set at about the 90 point. Yes, you run a little bit of risk of looking like an animated bobblehead, especially if you happen to have a slender neck. But given what I’ll call the “Vanna rule”, your head should be too big for your body because people are essentially looking at you “on television”. And believe me, Merv knew what he was talking about.

This will have the not entirely unexpected side effect of making most of your hair too small, so you will have to hope that you purchased wisely and haven’t impulsively deleted the sizing menu. In fact I have my head size at 90-ish, and routinely add 15% to the size of any new hair before I even bother fitting it. Because, yes, you will have to fit it, and adjust it to the massive dome that is your new large head. But the extra work will be worthwhile because it will make people look at you a lot more.

And at this point, I’d like to pause to thank my fellow blogger — hell, blogging role model, the man posts good stuff so regularly it’s embarrassing to the rest of us, and has done so for years — Eddi Haskell. Twice. I can’t find a reference to which to link, but my belief is that he has endorsed the idea of a larger head size himself; he may have put his point of view differently, though, so let’s just say the two of us are talking about the same kind of thing. Make your heads bigger, guys. (The second most common fault I see is arms that are too short.) The other reason I have to thank Eddi is that today he posted a lot of nice pictures of a real-life hot guy, British rugger bugger (I wish) and fitness model Stuart Reordan.

Stuart Reordan

Stuart Reordan

Now, let’s just take a moment to thank a munificent providence that there is such a human being in this world that has a face like that, am I right? The man is one in a billion. That’s just an extraordinary combination of genetics and environment that produced that particular heap of bones and muscles, and I for one am grateful for it.

So let’s start from the mutual assumption that Stuart Reordan has a strikingly handsome face, bone structure, eye colour, hair, skin tone, beard, yada yada yada. As it happens, strikingly handsome faces are what Second Life is specialized to turn out in large numbers and real life not so much. If you want to build a SL av that looks kind of like Stuart Reordan, it’s relatively easy because the sliders are there to do things like precisely hollow out cheeks or square off a jaw. In fact, there are potentially three or four components in Second Life to reproducing what we see here; skin is primary, but things like added facial hair and ears would also go a long way to verisimilitude. Underneath it all, though, you need a shape, and that’s what you need to learn how to affect. I hasten to add that there are many SL designers who will sell you a decent shape, and one or two who will actually sell you a superb one. So if you’re looking for the easy way to accomplish the ideal of a strikingly handsome avatar, you can do it by merely purchasing it, either as a pre-set group of sliders or a mesh body like my l’Uomo one. If you want to learn how to do it yourself, read on.

So put your av on a pose stand and zoom in, and crank up the sliders to change your face structure. You should have in front of you a couple of photographs of, say, Stuart Reordan that will be sufficient to try to copy his bone structure, much like I advised you to have photos of a body structure to copy. The easiest way to seem real is to copy real. Now, I trust you will recognize that Stuart Reordan has a head that is slightly larger than average; the Vanna theory bearing itself out. Now separate out the parts that will be affected by the shape sliders. So ignore the eye colour, the eyebrows, the stubble, the skin tone — and focus on the bone structure. One way to look at it is to mathematically divide the face into six equal zones, then notice how one part is larger than another. In Stuart, his forehead is a little oversized. He compensates for this visually by having a very wide jaw and a strong chin; the wide jaw makes the face look more rectangular and the head size actually begins to slope outwards just above the ears (honestly, the man won the genetic lottery in every way). His eyes are quite far apart. His cheekbones are so high that in a straight-on shot like this, they actually deform his sideburns in a very SL way; a little zig just above the earlobe. His nose is straight and relatively unnoticeable, and his lips are thin. And — an important point — his ears are about 25% too big for his head.

So the first general principle I have to offer here is, “In SL, perfection is easy, and it’s imperfection that gets noticed.” The second and linked principle is that “Everybody, no matter how beautiful, has something wrong with their face. Sometimes that imperfection is what makes the face memorable.”

There are lots of shapes available that will give you a face that the designers might call “classically handsome” and I would call “another SL Ken doll”. In fact, I’ll give you a way to get a “classically handsome” face — go into your face shape menus and very carefully set every value to 50. It’s a basic handsome face that won’t offend anyone and won’t really interest anyone either. There is something you can do, though, that goes back to advice I’ve mentioned before; if you’re trying to create a look, think of a way to describe it in a phrase, and you’ll be closer to achieving it. The 50-slider face only says “corporate drone”. You can make a truly original face by coming to a careful balance of the sliders; deform one part, like the forehead size, and then see if you can balance it out by adjusting the rest of the face. Alternatively, you can work by trying to match a photograph of someone like Stuart Reordan. You won’t get an exact match — skin has a lot to add to this, as would a carefully chosen set of facial hair. But you can match the height of the cheekbones and the width of the jaw and their relationship.

And then the key point that I’ve learned over the years is — just like Stuart Reordan has slightly large ears, you need to introduce a single flaw into your av’s facial structure. Ears are a really good way of doing that; large, small, jutting, flat. Eyes that are too close together make you look slightly hard and untrustworthy; too far apart make you look mental! Making the character’s lips a little too large suggests mixed Negroid ancestry, tilting the eyes adds a hint of Asian ancestry. One subtle one that’s available is skewing the nose to the right or left, but I’m not clear whether this actually is interesting or merely a bit creepy. You can make the jaw a bit too wide, the neck a bit too thick, even these days the hairline a bit too receding. The point is that you need to have one thing that makes the viewer look at your face until they are much more likely to accept the kind of person that you’re telling them you are. Subconsciously, people think something like “Oh, he’d be really handsome if only it wasn’t for the scar in his eyebrow.” whereas it’s the scar in the eyebrow that makes you look 100% more real to their subconscious eye.


It’s also very useful to get photographs of the same person from a number of different angles. Notice how this photograph is canted a bit so that it shows how the ear inserts into the back of the jaw, and the general neck size, and roughly how bulbous the nose is? You should be looking at your av from a 360-degree perspective, to be sure, but it doesn’t hurt to have a couple of different takes on the relative sizes of each facial part.

So first make a perfect face, and then pick a trait by which people will remember your face. “The guy with the scar in his eyebrow,” “The guy with the cleft chin,” etc. Use the same method I told you about in part I, whereby you consecutively name each successive “save” by VER 01, VER 02, etc. Save before you start, have some fun with it, but if you spend the time to figure out the relationship between the sliders and what you see on the screen, and then introduce a single memorable fault, you will be halfway to being truly memorable.



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014: Notes on shape (Part 1: body and proportions)

As I’ve said a couple of times, and now have a post-it saying so above my desk <grin> I need to get on with completing the articles that were suggested by an article by Angelik Lavecchia called “10 Steps to Impress” in a new digital magazine called Manshots (click on the title to read it).  All that’s left is the largest topics, and I think the best place to start is with an absolutely crucial one: shape.

If you think back to your first days in Second Life, I’m betting that “shape” was the most incomprehensible idea that you had to cope with. I know that many people don’t get the hang of clothes, hair, and AOs before their first 30 days are up, and shape — well, that’s something we all approached with great trepidation. When you invoke the menu, all of a sudden your av acts like it’s posing for the central figure in da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” and you’re presented with a whole bunch of menus and, OMG, you can be taller and shorter and have bigger pecs and longer legs and and and … instant overchoice. I’ve talked to a couple of guys who said after two hours of fiddling around, they went out and bought a nice shape and stuck with it forever.  Shape is the kind of thing that we tend to do once and then never touch again.

But I started in SL quite a few years ago, when there weren’t quite as many worthwhile ways of affecting your av’s shape, and I was always too stingy to buy a shape when all the tools were there to do my own. (I have to say, this is about the only area of SL that I feel this way about; I probably would have trouble making any prim more complicated than a box.) And over the years, as new tools and sliders became available, I have tweaked and fiddled and played with the sliders a tich here and a tich there, and I’m fairly confident that I can put you in a position where you can affect your own shape and be happy with the results.

Now, if you’re planning on purchasing a mesh body like l’Uomo, or you already have one, quite a few of these hints will be useless — just skim through this and move to the post about how to build your face, which I’ll provide in the near future.

So here are some basic hints and a couple of very important insights that I’ve learned over the years. First, the basics.


Just like the last post about having a philosophy that underlies what you’re doing — start by thinking, okay, what kind of person do I want to look like? The easiest way to accomplish this is to have a full-length photograph of someone wearing as little clothing as possible, much like the handsome gentleman in the green underwear immediately above. What you’re looking for, though, is not his beautiful eight-pack or his gorgeous tan — those, you get with the right skin. What you’re looking for is the ability to see his proportions — the bone structure not only of his face but his body. You’re going to use this as a model.

And then that photograph also has to make you think of the kind of person that you want to look like. If you are interested in looking like a slender twink, Mr. Green Shorts is not for you; he’s too well-built and too old. If your tastes, like mine, run to the l’Uomo type of pro bodybuilder, this guy is a little too slender. And if you’re interested in looking like an “average” guy, Mr. Green Shorts has spent too much time at the gym and is too young, but he does have the right legs.

The good thing is, there is one thing that the Internet is very, VERY good at, and that is showing you pictures of naked people of every conceivable size and description. Some of them are beyond the capacity of the ordinary set of sliders, so if you want to look like, say, a pro bodybuilder or a Sumo wrestler or a little person, you may have to get professional help. But it will be a lot of fun looking at pictures of naked guys until you find one where you can see most or all of his body and that you say, “Oh, THAT’s the guy I want to look like.”


Here’s a helpful hint. There are three basic body types for men: ectomorph, mesomorph and endomorph.

  • Ectomorphic: characterized by long and thin muscles/limbs and low fat storage; usually referred to as slim. Ectomorphs are predisposed to neither store fat nor build muscle.
  • Mesomorphic: characterized by medium bones, solid torso, low fat levels and a narrow waist; usually referred to as muscular. Mesomorphs are predisposed to build muscle but not store fat.
  • Endomorphic: characterized by increased fat storage, a wide waist and shoulders and a large bone structure, usually referred to as fat, or chunky. Endomorphs are predisposed to store fat.
Frank Zane

Frank Zane

Mr. Green Shorts is a mesomorph, but you don’t have to look at his entire bone structure to be able to tell. The helpful hint is, when you’re looking at photo, you can tell by the circumference of the wrist (as a rule of thumb). The  thinner the wrist bone, the closer to ectomorphic the man will be. Mr. Green Shorts has fairly thin wrists for a mesomorph, so he’s probably altered his basic body composition with diet and exercise. It can be done; although most pro bodybuilders are endomorphs or mesomorphs, there are a couple of ectomorphs, most notably Frank Zane. Check out his wrist bones in the  photo. The nice thing about Second Life is that you can merely decide you want to be a muscular ectomorph and go for it.

Once you know what body type you want to be, make sure all the pieces fit. You shouldn’t have an ectomorph’s arms and an endomorph’s waist; it just looks weird. Keep to one style of body and you’ll look more realistic.

Each body type tends — it’s not an absolute relationship, but a tendency — to have a certain shape of face and head. The key is to put the right kind of head on your body. Check out the drawing above. Ectomorphs have long thin faces, mesomorphs have average sized roundish faces, and endomorphs have blocky large square faces. Keep that relationship in mind and you can’t go far wrong.

One important hint: If you intend to be a non-white-Caucasian av, start with a picture of someone who is the race that you want to be. Different races have naturally different body proportions; the differences are slight, but real.

Now that you have an idea what you want to look like, get your photo in front of you and put your av on a posing stand. (This is so you can see your feet without having them sink into the floor.) Then call up the menu and get to work.

If you’ve purchased a shape and it’s no mod, you’re going to have to replace it with a shape from the library in your inventory that you can modify. Don’t worry about what you look like to start; that will definitely change.  The first thing you do is save that shape with today’s date and a name, and probably as the first characters something like VER 01. This is because you’re going to go through a LOT of versions of this shape and you want to be able to locate specific ones in your inventory easily, so at the very beginning of the name, put the version number.

Start with the basics; height, torso length, arms and legs. Leave the head and face for last, since it will take the longest. What you’re trying for is relationships. For instance, see where Mr. Zane’s knuckles touch his upper thigh? You need to balance that out when you’re tinkering with the leg length and the arm length and the torso length, so that your knuckles end up there in the finished product. That’s why you need a good photograph, so you can see all those relationships.

Zac Efron (ectomorph type)

Zac Efron (ectomorph type)

Remember — save your shape, giving it a new version number each time, and save OFTEN. Nothing is more frustrating than losing half-an-hour’s painstaking work on getting something juuuuuuuust right and then having a power failure. And you know the way the universe works; it always goes wrong just at the crucial time. This also means that you can go back to a previous save if you find you don’t like what you did with a body part after all.

There’s a tendency for guys who are playing with their shape for the first time to bump up the pecs and biceps to 100, fool with the thighs and butt, and call it a day. And connoisseurs of the male shape will know what you did, believe me. This is the equivalent in real life of having a 54″ chest and a 27″ waist, and you’ll stand out in SL in the same way you would in RL, not necessarily in a good way. Your basic shape, the one you get with most avs the day you enter SL, is more or less 50/50/50 — everything is pretty much average. Making small changes is better; you can wear the shape for a couple of days and see if you need to tweak it again. One good ratio is 75/25. 50/50 shapes are for average looks, 100/0 shapes are for extraordinary looks, but 75/25 is a good balance if you want to look like you go to the gym, but perhaps not three hours daily.

Also worth noting is that, if you have a very dramatic body, it limits you in the kind of “looks” you can pull off. Slender ectomorphic twinks or huge bodybuilders tend to not look good in a business suit, and you might even be limited in the specific clothes you can wear. These days, with mesh clothes, it’s less of a problem, but it can still be an issue. If you have an average mesomorphic body, you can wear anything and buy it off the rack without worrying too much.

In the next post, I’ll tell you how to approach doing the really hard work; creating a face and head shape that works for you. But it can be so much fun getting into the fine details of the sliders that you might want to get started now. And be warned; in a future post, I’ll talk about how you will want to make small changes to your shape once you find a skin that suits you; you’ll want to show off your skin to its best advantage, so if it’s drawn with long biceps, you’ll want to have long biceps. So don’t think this is a once-only process. It’s worth taking a little time now to tweak your shape, though, so that you can get used to how the sliders work.

So at this stage, find a picture of a body you like, play around with the sliders, save your work early and often, and have some fun with it. Below is a picture of the three body types with famous bodybuilders, so you can see what a good build looks like with each body type. Check out, for instance, the trapezoidus muscle (the one between the neck and the shoulder at the top of the body). See how different it is between Jay Cutler on the left and Frank Zane on the right? You can figure out the relationships between body parts by looking at these pictures, or just trying to approximate a photo of a body you like. Enjoy yourself; if you’ve saved, you can’t go wrong.





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013: Building a look

I need to get on with completing the articles that were suggested by an article by Angelik Lavecchia called “10 Steps to Impress” in a new digital magazine called Manshots (click on the title to read it).  I’ve dealt with half the topics already, and all that’s left is huge over-arching headings, each of which would be worth an article (or two or three) all on its own: 

  • Shape
  • Skin
  • Clothes
  • Accessories
  • Attitude

Rather than dive right in to talk about any single one of these items, it occurred to me that it would be worthwhile to talk about all of them at once, to give people a context in which to make decisions about them.  How this idea came about was, I was getting ready to go out dancing the other night and a friend was thinking of accompanying me. He IMed me and said, “What’s the theme?” (Frequently gay clubs in SL have “theme” parties in which you are encouraged to dress all in green, or as a pirate, or in torn clothes, or whatever, and there’s a prize for the people whom the assembled guests think has done the best job of portraying the theme.) “No theme,” I IMed back. “So I’m just going as a hunky gay bar slut LOL.”

Hunky gay bar slut

Hunky gay bar slut

When he saw me, he said it was a convincing representation 😉

It was only later that I realized I’d said something that might be useful to a newer SL resident, or even someone who’s been working on improving their av’s look without getting far. When you put your skin, shape, accessories and clothes together, you’re doing what I think of as “building a look”. The idea is that you want people to look at your av and think, “Oh, he’s a ….”  Well, in my case, “hunky gay bar slut.”  I’ve chosen everything to contribute to making people think of that phrase. My skin and shape are pretty much the same all the time, of course, but my hair is — well, it makes me look gay. It’s longer than straight guys wear their hair, it’s a little too well-cut, and the floppy pieces hanging over the eyes are what clever haircutters use to call attention to your eyes by pretending to hide them.

Similarly, the jacket — well, if a straight guy was going to wear that jacket, he’d be wearing a shirt or a T-shirt under it, or both. He probably wouldn’t have decorated it with metal stars and chains, and I guarantee it wouldn’t say “FUCKER” in studs on the back. (In fact, there are so many attachments on this jacket, I literally don’t have a single attachment point left to do so much as smoke a cigarette.) Wearing the word “FUCKER” on your back, in fact, says “I’m gay, I’m a top, and I don’t give a crap what you think about it.” The skin-tight jeans with the overly large basket are straight out of Tom of Finland, as are the boots, and topping it off with fingerless leather gloves — you’re either going to a leather bar or you’re channeling Michael Jackson.

However, the point is not that I want people to know I’m gay. The point is that I want people to look at my av and be able to make a quick decision about the kind of person that I am, based entirely on what they see. It’s not time to be subtle unless you are trying to make a very subtle point; and it’s not time to confuse your messages by sending too many different ones. To understand what I mean, try thinking of the picture above with the addition of a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.  What does that mean? Intellectual bar slut? I mean, eyeglasses aren’t necessary in SL for vision, so you have to be saying something by wearing them. You’re looking for quick sex — with a smart guy? Mixed messages mean people don’t know what to think when they look at you and that means you won’t be as easy to approach, or avoid. You want people who are looking to meet a hunky bar slut to step right up, and people who are looking for a sensitive intellectual to walk on by. (And the corollary is, if you want people to leave you alone, wear an outfit that’s two looks mashed together.)

There are a couple of posts here where I’ve complimented guys on having a nice outfit. Take a look at those guys and you’ll see that they are sending a pretty clear message about what kind of man they are. When you look at them, you should be able to instantly get a phrase in your head that says, “Oh, this guy looks like a …”.

So when you’re selecting skin, or hair, or a shape, or clothes, or accessories — you should build a look and have a phrase in your head that describes it. I was out shopping the other day and saw someone and thought, “Executive at an internet company”. (He was kind of sloppy in fitting his accessories, or I might have had material for a “nice outfit” blog post.) A woman I saw made me think “Office bitch.” One way to know you’re on the right track is if you save what you’re wearing as an outfit; you shouldn’t have to think about what to call it.

I’ll do more posts in the future about how to select skin/hair/shape/clothes that contribute to a look. In the meantime, though, have a look at your go-to outfit and think to yourself, “What phrase would people think when they see that look?” And if it’s unclear or muddled, it’s time to fine tune what you look like. Some people need to take things off and some people need to add things on … it’s up to you. But start thinking in terms of a coherent look and you’re halfway to looking pulled together and, more importantly, like someone that people will want to meet.

And if you see me out looking like a hunky bar slut, don’t ask me any difficult trivia questions 😉




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009: “Gamer” (A cautionary tale)

I was channel-surfing last night looking for something to keep me company with dinner when I came across Gamer; a 2009 movie starring the delicious Gerard Butler.


From the Second Life point of view, there was something of interest here. The film is about two different games; Gerard Butler is a prisoner whose body is controlled by a teenager as he plays a very violent game, Slayers, in which real people actually get killed.


But Gerard’s wife, played by Amber Valletta, is also part of a different game called Society; she’s employed as an avatar who inhabits a world where gamers control avatars who dress in sexy costumes, go to big dance parties and have random sex with strangers.  Hmm, does that sound familiar? 


The part that’s really of interest to Second Life residents is what I indicated in the title by “a cautionary tale”. Amber is beautiful, lives in a funky apartment, and is extremely sexually available, as the movie makes clear.


But the guy who’s controlling Amber’s real-life body as an avatar is a real piece of work. He — yes, he — is built like Jabba the Hutt, lives in a dimly-lit basement suite, is apparently always naked, and seems to be covered in a light coating of salad oil. I wasn’t paying close enough attention to be able to say conclusively, but I think I saw him eating mayonnaise out of the jar with his bare hands.

Gamer Movie Fat Guy-danterants-blogspot-com

The movie is actually not very good, but I recommend it if only for one reason — you need to have the image of this guy in your head the next time you’re at a club and you get approached by a handsome stranger who has strangely poor social skills. Is it any wonder I have a hard time having casual pixel sex with strangers these days?

I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with being a person in real life who doesn’t look like your avatar. I know it’s hard to believe, but I am not actually spectacularly gorgeous, 7’8″ and 280# of solid rippling muscle in real life. (I’m bigger and more handsome <wink>.) Second Life is designed to allow people to experience inhabiting a physical form that is different — better, worse, impossible — than their real-life body. That’s quite a bit of what we’re all here for. It’s fun to pretend that you’re a werewolf or the opposite sex or even just a guy who actually DOES go to the gym and buy expensive clothes. The average SL user is about 55 and the average av is about 25 — you do the math. But there are people in SL who want to catfish you because they have big psychological problems and SL is cheaper than therapy. And you can get hurt by these people.

Every experienced SL resident knows that when you meet someone whose av looks like Gerard Butler but with really, really poor social interaction skills in talking with attractive people in whom they appear to be sexually interested, what’s sometimes happening is that you are talking with someone who looks in real life like the naked guy in the picture. They play World of Warcraft to exercise their aggressive instincts and Second Life to approximate sex. Now, this is no problem if you are capable of suspending your disbelief and you don’t care who’s behind the av because you’re not interested in making friends in SL, you just want to try out that new penis you just bought. That’s fine, and valid, no problem. But if you want to get to know people and sometimes even get emotionally involved with them, which happens quite a bit, you have to remember that occasionally you’re not talking to who you think you’re talking to — you’re talking to Jabba.

So the rule of thumb is — if the story behind the av sounds too good to be true, it pretty much always is bullshit. Sometimes it’s harmless bullshit, like the guy at the bar who tells you his Jaguar is in the shop and he came in his Corolla instead. But sometimes it’s actively pernicious bullshit by someone who wants to hurt you, for twisted reasons of their own. Buyer beware.

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